They were kissing. Put like that, and you could be forgiven for presuming that this was a normal kiss, all lips and skin and possibly even a little tongue. You’d miss how he smiled, how his eyes glowed. And then, after the kiss was done, how he stood, like a man who had just discovered the art of standing and had figured out how to do it better than anyone else who would ever come along.

6000 feet above sea level
3300 bodies disassembled
the head bone’s connected
to the cock pit
knee jerk
ass backwards
dancing slaves in a mosh pit
punk rock of gibralter
roll out
nothing’s new
mo’ blood dyes
the mo hawk
only this time
it’s you
and you
never loved her
for what she possessed
you powdered her face
and came on her
head-dress
oil slicked feathers, putrid stenched water-bed
“mother nature’s a whore”, said the shotgun to the head.
and it smelled like teen spirit
angst driven insecure
a country in puberty
a country at war
wet dreams
cotton mouth
blood thirsty
oily hair
fast cars
movie stars
earn 20 mill…
to instill fear

My heart. I thought it stopped. So I got in my car and headed for God. I passed two churches with cars parked in front, then I stopped at the third because no one else had.

It was early afternoon, the middle of the week. I chose a pew in the center of the rows. Episcopal or Methodist, it didn’t make any difference. It was as quiet as a church. I thought about the feeling of the long missed beat and the tumble of the next ones as they rushed to fill the space. I sat there in the high brace of quiet and stained glass – and I listened.

When I was a girl, I sneaked out at night. I pressed myself to hedges and fitted the shadows of trees. I went to a construction site near the back of our property. I took a concrete mixing tub, slid it to shore in the neighbor’s pond, sat down and pushed off from the edge. I heard nothing for hours.

I looked at my nails in the harsh light of the bathroom. This scare will appear as a ripple. It will take a couple of weeks to see.

Most of the time, you don’t even hear it. A pulse is a thing you only feel, even if you are somewhat quiet. Sometimes you can hear it through the pillow at night, but there is a better place to listen to the slow bump of your muscle. Go home tonight and ease yourself into a bathtub of water. Lie back down and wait for the ripples to smooth away. Take a deep breath, slide your head under and listen to the playfulness of your own heart. Listen to the life.

I want to have a
BIG BLOODY BURGER
lots of onions
served on the
CONSTITUTION
juices and greases staining the
BILL OF RIGHTS
smother my fries in molten gold
and throw them out
after eating two
’cause thats what it’s all about
if justice is blind

make me a GERMAN SHEPARD
seeing as I would be
the seeing eye
of sleeping judges
leading them into
ghettos and sewers
the fewer climbing into holes
with the horde
and being raped till they
got it right

Wanna be the DEMOCRAT DOM
bleed it till it’s the
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
you better lock up your kids
John Q Public
I’m the dirty old Hag with
Candy crack pipes
on halloween
put your daughter in a
bag like a puppy
sell her ass down the river
make your son a moonie
your gandmother a dyke
your husband a postal worker
SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT
you know what they say about eye contact
don’t you?
I’ll piss in the eye of any man, woman or child
who would be better off than me
By virtue of BIRTHRIGHT
oooh… did I say that?
Yeah, I OWN THAT
It’s mine, FUCKER
Go ahead…
give away your doilies
and those scented soap baskets
leave burning shit by
that picket fence and spear
the holy ghost to a piece of toast
get out the butter and go
to town
cause that’s what it’s all about
give me a reason not to be
BITTER
and I’ll show you a hole
where you can hide
in our culture
in the budget
in the sky
In your head when a cold
GLOCK is pressed to you in a
suburban 7 Eleven
and then I’m gonna laugh
’cause I nuke my burritos
AT HOME